Saturday, December 20, 2008 @ 11:31 PM
Huhu. If anyone had noticed, the title of this post is kinda nostalgic. Well, it is, if you had ever watched Forrest Gump before. For those who knew, you might as well guess what I'm going to write about. Huhu. Today is one hell of the most tiresome day of my life at PASUM. Wanna know why? It simply bcoz I had to run for about 10km (I think) around the campus. I think I've never run that far before. Well, maybe I was exaggerating about the distance. But, it might as well be true. oh, I forgot to mention (for those who are still clueless), PASUM held a jogathon race this morning. It seems like an annual event. So, I can't hardly complaint that the admin want to organize it again this year. Huhu. But, my legs are aching all over.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to attend a talk about something (don't really know what it is about and don't actually care at all) but I'm going to skip it. Bcoz I've got so many tutorial to finish up, biology and physics test to study for and whole lot more things to do. By the way, the talk is actually divided into 2 phases, I've already missed the first one, why bother coming for the next, right?
@ 8:19 PM
I think a person's life supposed to be like a DVD. You can see the version everyone else sees, or you can choose the director's cut - the way he wanted you to see it, before everything else got in the way.
There are menus, probably, so that you can start at the good spots and not have to relive the bad ones. You can measure your life by the number of scenes you've survived, or the minutes you've been stuck there.
Probably, though, life is more like one of those dumb video surveillance tapes. Grainy, no matter how hard you stare at it. And looped the same thing, over and over.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 @ 9:54 AM
What do you hate about yourself? Come on, be honest. Or are you too ashamed to admit anything? Perhaps you're not even aware of it. It's those perceived flaws, those nagging insecurities that can drive a person mad. Maybe you're afraid of failure, that everything you do in life will ultimately amount to nothing. How about the resentment or jealously you might feel towards someone more successful than you are? A close friend you keep around to satisfy your sense of self-worth and need for acceptance? How about your gender or sexuality? What's really hiding beneath that humble exterior, or that facade of an outgoing attitude? All your justifications and excuses might be the only things letting you sleep at night. Denial is the cornerstone of your behavior; you alter your personality, your actions, and everything else by measuring them against what is believed to be ‘normal.' When it comes down to it, no one sees you in your true, flawed splendor.
So, what are you really like?
…Not going to answer, huh? That's understandable. Those are hard, unfair questions. Besides, you're probably not ready to face whatever truth might be lurking deep in your psyche. But keep in mind that self-acceptance, regardless of the revelations that come it, is far more beneficial than that systematic denial that's ruling your existence. In fact, it just might be what saves your life.
Saturday, December 13, 2008 @ 10:21 PM
.: You wonder :.
.: Is it an angel or yet :.
.: Maybe a sweet dream that you can’t forget :.
.: So close yet far-fetched :.
.: Causing you to float on the line :.
.: Between reality and fantasy :.
.: Haunting the nightmares :.
.: Creates the ecstasy :.
.: Oh poisonous honey :.
.: Love and hate :.
.: Driving me crazy :.
.: The poison ivy of Venus :.
.: Killing with venom so sweet :.
.: You’re losing your head :.
.: Don’t want it yet it keep haunting :.
.: Losing yourself in the suffocating mist :.
.: The blind arrows of :.
.: Piercing cold ice and :.
.: Warm melting heart :.
.: Tearing me apart :.
@ 10:12 PM
When you don't fit in, you become superhuman. You can feel everyone else's eyes on you, stuck like a velcro. You can hear a whisper about you from a mile away. You can dissapear, even when it looks like you're still standing right there. You can scream, and nobody hears a sound.
You become the mutant who fell into the vat of acid, the Joker who can't remove his mask, the bionic man who's missing all his limbs and none of his heart.
You are the thing that used to be normal, but that was so long ago, you can't even remember what it was like.
@ 8:48 PM
Nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that's because it's all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone's ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end.
But then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.
@ 8:36 PM
It's been 2 weeks since the final results was announced. Alhamdulillah I managed to get 4.0 flat. But it seems like I can't celebrate just yet. Coz I still got 1 more sem to endure. huhu. what a pain it is to study here at pasum. not that i can complain 'bout it. i think that all my frens felt juz the same. we had gone through a lot for the past sem. well, it's been a month now, and i felt juz the same as before. hopefully something exciting will happens soon. juz have to get my fingers cross. =b